Hash Trash from Mace Terbator:

Mace Report -On the Road

Starting a new decade w the Cincinnati hash

The morning started early at the W place and had me tied up past the hares away time in the evening.

Sin City hash has the best website that I have seen in a decade. After arriving ultra fashionably late, I discovered the party at the location described on website. After my first community beer, I deducted that the inhabitants of the party had not read the website and I was invited to vacate the premises. Upon vacation, I noticed a neon flour and chalk marking true trail.

I was well prepared to meet the local club and had brought two large bottles of booze and a local IPA sixer. I began to track the group with two plastic bags in tow, creating a dilemma. Unable to enter pubs for fear of losing the swag, I followed trail all the way to the scene of a forced entry that was caused by my misreading of trail.

Alone with the 6 pack, all 7 of us took to the alleyways to expeditiously reach some of the most beautiful cathedrals and civic structures in the rust belt. After reaching the casino a mile or two away, apparently the hares decided to quit marking entirely. A local man in a nearby alley was yelling something similar to On On but after closer inspection, it was determined that he wasn’t my kind of preferred crazy.

I used my Zen superpowers to find the beginning of trail again and found the circle in a weight room of an apartment. The RA gladly reopened circle and the plastic grocery bags of grog were opened to the delight of the hounds. The chili served in the weight room was both delicious and did not cause diarrhea within 12 hours, which was a classy way to start the new year.

Hares pointed me in the direction of the On after and informed me of two runs for the following day. After arriving to NYE party in the suburbs and watching balls drop at midnight, I was invited to play a game called “3 man”. I woke up in the basement 4-10 hours later.

The hosts prepared a lovely meal and pointed me towards Kentucky at noon or Dayton at 2. I found my keys at 12:15 and took it as an omen to go to the nearby suburb of Dayton. I also discovered that while Cincinnati was named after a Roman dictator: Dayton was not a suburb and actually an hour away.

The RA of Dayton hash texted me in advance and also made adequate appeasement to the spirit of Gispert. It was the most incredible day to be outside with a crisp 62 degree and not a cloud in the sky. I recommended that the Dayton RA become a professional weatherman, but he politely admitted it was all part of his job.

This time I was doing Ohio hashing the right way and actually running trail with other people. Trail was phenomenal and included: annoyed parents at playgrounds, a jog past a strip club literally off the railroad tracks named “sugar melons”, and a giant NO TRESSPASSING sign that we could all gather around.

And like all other good hash stories, circle ended when the cops showed up. Luckily, there was a nearby pub that would exchange money for goods such as barley and ham burgers made from cow.

The start of my decade ended with 24 hours of pure hash life and an old Scottish hymn about taking a cup of kindness for days gone by. We exchanged the word kindness for beer after a while. Then we traded a cup in for a pitcher, for Auld Lang Syne.

Grand Master’s General Musings

Assimov’s Three Laws of Haring

  1. The hares will ensure that hounds can complete trail without dying or being arrested.
  2. The hares will ensure that hounds can enjoy following trail. Except when that would conflict with the 1st Law.
  3. The hares will avoid getting snared, except when that would conflict with either the 1st or 2nd Law.

The 1st Law means mark DDs, take the weather into account especially with tunnels and water crossings, get permission to cross private property, and let the local police department know ahead of the run where you’ll be throwing flour. They actively appreciate the head-who-said-heads-up.
The 2nd Law means mark the trail where it can be found. Every application of cleverness on the part of the hares in laying trail depends on an equal amount of cleverness on the part of the pack, and the odds just keep getting smaller the more times you’re clever. And really, this should never conflict with the 1st Law.
The 3rd Law is last, because getting snared is not a Big Deal™. Risk getting snared. It’s fun. It’s painless. And it’s sometimes necessary to obey the 2nd Law. Sure, you’ll do a down-down, but you were going to do that anyway, and snare down-downs are better than “stymied at a check for half an hour” down-downs. See also the Gimp Manifesto.

Other Hare Suggestions

Yeah, yeah, there are no rules, only guidelines. Anyway:
Keep the number of hares reasonable. Two per trail is reasonable. If you have a walker and runner trail, that means up to four hares, although three is probably sufficient.
Solicit walker hares from the walkers.
Be prepared to settle up with the On-Sec as soon as the trail is done. The On-Sec needs to also handle the bar bill, so finding out three days later that the hares forgot about an expense doesn’t work. Do the math! If you can present the On-Sec one number (instead of one per hare), even better.
When buying beer, check on gluten-free (e.g., cider) options. May not be as cheap as the slut beer, but comparable to the halfway decent stuff, especially at The Market on Wilmington Pike.
Dayton hash cash is $6, or $4 if the pack is on their own at the on-after. If you want to do something other than this, make it optional (e.g., +$5 if you want pizza) or clear it with Mismanagement first.
Varying from the usual start time is easier than varying from the usual hash cash, but please if you need to change the start time communicate your erections well in advance so wankers can get their fucks in a row.
If you need to change the date of a hash, don’t. If you really, really need to change the date of a hash, clear it with Mismanagement first. It’s probably better to just add a new hash with the new date than to move a hash to the new date. The Hareraiser can help scrape up a replacement hare if needed.
In addition to giving the local police notice of the trail area, use colored flour (less likely to be mistaken for anthrax, heroin, cocaine, or rat poison). Don’t use flour when marking on school grounds, church grounds, nursing homes, etc. – use chalk and/or toilet paper.
Alert the on-after venue to our impending arrival so they can staff appropriately and sequester us as needed. Get a name of someone the On-Sec can look for! Let them know that only the On-Sec will be ordering beers on the hash tab, and any other beer orders are on the individual wankers’ tabs.

Pack Don’ts

Don’t die. Even if no DD is nearby.
Don’t get arrested.
Don’t dip into the circle beer before circle. When in doubt, ask a hare.
Don’t order beer on the hash tab. The On-Sec will order.
Don’t prelube in the parking lot of a place with a liquor license. The bars and restaurants that put up with us or even look forward to us value that license more than our business.

Pack Suggestions

Get credit for your runs! That means two things: (1) Sign in! and (2) Pay the hash cash! Virgins and hares are exempt from paying hash cash. The On-Sec will usually sign the hares in for them, but I’d check my stats afterwards anyway. Because the stats page is awesome!
On On!
Cock-a-Noodle, DH3 GM
March 2018

DH3 30th Analversary Canoe Campout Craze 2017 Rego Now Available

A DH3 Hash Campout

Start Location Details

Adventures on the Great Miami is having us back again for more canoe and trail hashing fun. Please park where you are supposed to and don’t block the roads.
1995 Ross Rd. Tipp City, OH 45371

February Meeting Minutes

Attendance:  Strap-On Santa, Skin to Win, Undercovers, Cock-a-Noodle, BMW, PHead, Catwoman, G-Spot, Porkless, and More Leggs
1. Minutes from the Dec. 6, 2016 meeting were approved.
2. Brief position reports :
Hash Armorer: Santa continues to check out hash mugs to improve quality. He is also looking into a smaller trail mug in either stainless steel or plastic. He will try to ensure that the trail mugs are distinct from the Centurion mugs. Santa has the ability to personalize shirts, chairs etc. and was encouraged to send the hash contact and product info so individuals can purchase items.
Hash Flash: Skin and Pulley have been keeping DH3 (and at times SCH4) supplied with LOTS of fun photos. Noodle downloads all that are sent to FB and places them in albums on the DH3 web page.
ON-Sec: Undercovers says we continue to average 30-40 folks at hashes. She is keeping track of upcoming hash and hare analversaries and keeps stats updated.
Web & Social Media:  Noodle says the media sites are working well. Goes Down Dirty also has Google Calendar working as another information option. Noodle says there has been a request to resend upcoming hash erections. He will resend only if the hares have given him a revision, but not for simple reminders. Wankers are encouraged to add the events to whatever calendars they use in Real Life.
Hare Raiser: Porkless says that hares have been found for Sat. hashes until Sept and moons until Aug. It was noted that this does not give much opportunity for new hashers or walkers to become hares. It is recommended that current hares ask new or inexperienced hashers to hare with them and that anyone who has an interest in haring, ask to join a current hare. The next major event that needs a hare is the Sat. Sept 9 th Annual Joint Red Dress hash and party. See Porkless if you are interested.
Haberdashery:  Cat reports that she has a good inventory of DH3 patches (some hashers purchase them to trade when they visit other kennels), shirts and sweat pants. She is checking into shorts.
Hash Cash:  DH3 is solvent. Money is available for special events/haberdashery/analversaries as needed.
3. Old Business:
a. Status of HashIT, Hashpitality, Trail Sweep: Tokens have been returning more consistently thanks to G-Spot who takes home the HashIT and mismanagement who takes home the Hashpitality. We will continue to try to award both at each hash. We have inconsistently been able to find volunteers to act as trail sweep. We will no longer solicit for this, but we encourage all who bring a virgin to monitor him/her on trail and for all to “buddy” each week (run/walk with or at least be aware that they are missing) to ensure hashers have a companion and to reduce “lost” hashers.
b. 30th Analversary: Dayton officially turns 30 on June 28th . There was some discussion regarding how we want to celebrate this milestone. The current schedule is for VD and Noodle to re-enact the first trail on the actual analversary date, which is a Wednesday. July 1st is a Sat. hash day hared by Undercovers and Noodle. Some had ideas about a possible camp-out week-end at The Adventures on the Great Miami site. Possible give-aways were also discussed. Such planning is beyond what the original hares had in mind. Porkless agreed to contact Tom Foolery and discuss options at the campsite. He will report back. Please give the hares your thoughts on how to celebrate and your name if you are interested in helping make this event a success.
c. 2017 elections: The process and time frame for this year’s mismanagement elections was discussed. All positions are open for nominations-except Hash Tyrant. This position is held by previous GM’s only. Noodle will be taking nominations throughout March. Email to hhhcockanoodle@gmail.com (and CC the person you’re nominating, please). A survey monkey vote will occur in April and the new team will be announced at the Spring Formal on May 6th.
All are welcome to nominate themselves or others, but make sure the person you are nominating is willing to run. Please see the current position holder if a more detailed description of the position is needed.
GM: overseer-in-charge; holds mismanagement meetings; writes year in review; other janitorial duties as needed. (Any hasher with 100 or more Dayton runs is eligible.)
On Sec: statistician: keeps all hash records/analversaries and manages funds from runs.
Hash Armorer: purchases analversary gifts, works with Haberdashery on hash supplies purchases.
Haberdashery: Keeps track of and sells hash supplies; works with hash armorer on purchases.
RA (Religious advisor): Runs the circle after the hash, brings good weather.
Sergeant of Arms: Records infractions on trail and helps to control circle.
Hare Raiser: Recruits hares for upcoming hashes.
Web and Social Media: Sends out erections via FB and email and maintains web site.
Hash Cash: Maintains and balances the bank book.
Songmeister: Leads and/or assists with circle songs.
Hash Flash: Takes pics and posts them on FB.
Any hasher who hashed 10 or more Dayton trails in 2016 is eligible to vote. If you have 10 or more hashes from March 1 2016 through February 28 2017, exceptions can be made, we just have to check the stats a little differently. The voting cannot be anonymous.
4. New Business:
a. Noodle requested an alternative number for the Renegade Cow-Tipping Campout, as we did with the Horse’s Ass Inaugural Red Dress Run, giving Dayton hashers the option of attending either the regularly scheduled Dayton run or the “area kennel” event, with the potential of picking one such event from the various area kennels each year. The vote was against repeating the option.
b. Hash Stats in general: Out-of-town events that are coordinated with Dayton Mismanagement may take the place of a DH3 run and be numbered. This occurred last year for Nash Hash and will occur this summer for Ohio Interhash. DH3 hashers who attend the June 9-11 Ohio InterHash will receive credit for 3 DH3 hashes and 4 SCH4 hashes. (Dayton does not give credit for the Shooting Star.)
c. Calendar: The July 15th hash (Short and Sassy’s 75th! Birthday and 200th! hash) could be a campout opportunity at Panty Remover’s farm if enough hashers are interested. See Panty if you would like this option. The 9/19 New Moon hash has been moved to 9/20 so as to not conflict with SCH4’s Talk Like a Pirate hash. See Porkless if you are interested in haring on 9/20.
d. Hash Cash: DH3 generally charges $6.00 hash cash and $4.00 if the bar does not sell pitchers. It was discussed and agreed upon again that there are no different pricing levels based on hasher’s consumption. Hash cash covers more than beer as stated in a previous meeting’s minutes. We believe that the fun and camaraderie of DH3 is priceless
e. Namings: DH3 names new hashers after they earn a name. This frequently means by their 5th or 6th run, but it may take longer in order to avoid an unfortunate “forced” naming. Unnamed hashers anxious for naming are encouraged to sign up to hare with an experienced hare or two, who can then grill the unnamed hasher for good naming suggestions. Unnamed hashers who are intentionally being quiet so as to avoid “earning” a hilarious name may have to wait longer. 🙂
f. Drinking Practice: Santa asks that we save April 7th for drinking practice at the Star City Brewing Co. in Miamisburg. This is “new beer” day: the day in 1933 when the sale of beer became legal again in the US. Details to follow.
g. think about whether Dayton wants to bid for Ohio InterHash for 2018 and possibly combine it with our usual campout to celebrate our 1300th hash.
The next mismanagement meeting is tentatively scheduled for May 8th.
Happy trails,
More Leggs
P.S.  save March 18th for joint Green Dress in Middletown, with erections to come out shortly!

2016 DH3 Year in Review

More Leggs, the Grand Mattress of the Dayton hash, gave this presentation for our year in review:
It is with a heavy heart that I begin yet another celebration with a moment of silence and a toast to our hasher friends who have moved on to other trails. Last year we recognized Betty, Bermuda’s mother who died Jan. 14th. This year we have 2 additional special friends to honor: Hellbound, who died on what obviously became the saddest trail of the year, May 21, and Pole Dancer who died on June 16th, her 60th birthday, doing what she loved: dinner with family and hash friends and dancing in the arms of her wonderful husband, Tiny Tool. Please raise your vessel in a toast: may they and all the other members of our hash family who have preceded them be forever on true trail. We will be passing around Sunglasses. These came from Pole Dancer and Tiny Tool. Please take one and wear it with happy memories a life well lived.
Let’s recognize and thank the mismanagement team who once again worked so hard to ensure a successful hash year. Every year I am so very pleased to report that my job as Grand Mattress is both pleasurable and manageable because of the hard work and commitment of our mismanagement team.
Please come up when you hear your name. Hash Tyrant: P-Head, On-Sec: Undercovers, Webmeister & BDSM: Cock-A-Noodle, Hash Cash: Bermuda, Hare Raiser: Porkless, Haberdashery & Song Meister: Cat Woman, Hash Armorer: Strap On Santa, Hash Flash: Skin to Win and Pull & Pray. There were also several others of you who assisted with hash duties throughout the year so please join me in a round of applause for the mismanagement team and all others who contributed to the well-being of the Dayton H3. Our next mismanagement change will take place on May 7th at our Spring Formal. It is not too early to consider nominating yourself or a friend for a mismanagement position. Details regarding the election process to follow after the mismanagement mtg on the 27th .
Every year I make a plea requesting each of you to do something for the betterment and continuation of the hash. You all have enthusiastically responded, and I’m proud to report and Undercovers will soon confirm that Dayton has never been stronger. Our hare sign up is almost complete for the whole year.
If you missed the opportunity, ask a hare if you can offer your assistance on trail, BN or B-Wagon and continue to bring Virgins to our events. And, always, thank your hares! Without them, we’d be just another drinking club. And, we definitely are not! Our hash family has found many opportunities this past year to play together outside of our hash runs. Some of these include: impromptu drinking practices, gatherings when out of town hashers arrive, competitive “R” events, Keg openings at the 5thSt. Brewery, camping out at the Tom Foolery River Rampage; participating in the Day of the Dead parade, road tripping to various hashes including Bali for the World hash and to Tampa for the first ever Harriettes weekend, volunteering for Nash Hash, etc. We also did several service activities this year such as helping Slap with her 4th grade running group, cleaning up a stretch of N. Dayton for Earth Day and sprucing up the Peace museum for Make a Difference day. A special salute to 2 of our hashers: Santa who gave CPR instruction and made a heart awareness tag for us to wear and Bimbo who bought an AED that is now being brought to all hashes.
The Dayton hash is almost 30 years old!! I’m going to ask Undercovers to come up and give some of the statistics that she has been keeping so meticulously this past year.

Hash Statistics for 2016

  • Total Hashes: 58 (53 in 2015)
  • Hasher attending most hashes: Undercovers -53 (second is Cock-a-Noodle at 52)
  • Hasher who was named in 2016 (first hash 2/26) with most hashes – Quarter Inch Dick Inside Her – 34
  • Out of town hasher who has attended the most hashes – Hot Tub Slut – 38 and hared the most 5
  • Total “turnstile attendance” in 2016 – 2259 (1152 in 2015)
  • Average attendance per hash in 2016 – 39 (29 in 2015)
  • Hasher who hared the most – Porkless – 9 (second are More Leggs and Cock-a-Noodle at 8 each)
  • Number of hares (“turnstile attendance”) in 2016 – 153
  • Hash with the highest attendance in 2016 – Scavenger Hunt Hash (7/2/16) with 63, hared by Pumps til It Burns, 3 & Out, and Dick Lips.
  • We had 79 virgins in 2016 and 21 namings. (47 virgins in 2015 and 5 namings in 2015)

On to reminiscing about 2016. DH3 runs in all sorts of weather: rain, sleet, snow or heat. No hashes were cancelled last year because of the weather, but here are the hashes that were enhanced or made more memorable because of Mother Nature:
Cold: Undercovers and G-Spot’s Jan 10th hash won this category. The trail was laid in frigid cold and blowing snow which caused confusion for the pack and brought tears and a flare-up of Reynold’s disease to Pumps til It Burns at Harrigan’s bar.
Rain: The monsoon rain that fell on the June 4th trail of VD and Pull & Pray brought out the “children” in all of us. We ran thru swollen creeks, a wet tunnel under 35, jumped into puddles and played underpouring downspouts. In spite of all that, Rocky’s still loved us. VD and this time, Sir Squirts a Lot hared the “most delayed” hash of the year Sept 10th. Several of us waited out the rain over an hour in our cars and the hares quickly modified their trail due to the depth of now swollen creeks. But, the hash that got the most nominations as best trail due to weather was the August 27th canoe hash hared by ¼ Barrel and Skin to Win. The pack went from a sweltering, stinky bus ride to dodging lightning bolts and pelting rain. Some folks thought this was the most life-threatening hash of the year.
Snow: Falling snow and a foggy night caused a nomination for the best scenery for the Chinese New Year hash hared by Porkless and More Leggs. The gothic church and cemetery made a super eerie, scenic venue. After this trail, the now “infamous” Gimp’s “manifesto” was written to instruct hares on how to lay marks so that a solo hasher can find trail without the teamwork of the pack.
Most Dangerous hashes: Did anyone fall or draw blood on trails this year? These antics were noteworthy: Sir Squirts a Lot fell and cut his hand on broken glass at the Celtic Festival hash; Goes Down Dirty fell through a rotting bridge plank at the abandoned golf course during the Earth Day hash; Boneless had a very bloody knee from the Chinese New Year hash, of course, Pumps for frostbite (already mentioned) and last but not least Skin to Win for dehydration after haring with Dreams of Dick on their excellent, shiggy-filled Moon trail in Beavercreek. The “scariest” trail nominated was the Riverside/Washington Park moon trail hared by Cock-a- Noodle and More Leggs. Several needles, condoms, irate residents and spooky alleys were reported. Boneless found and carried a trail treasure: a large and heavy sledgehammer to ensure his safety.
Speaking of trail treasure, our group sure enjoys scavenging! I get it about picking up found money on trail but don’t quite understand stealing informational signs from a cemetery (Boneless!!), picking up and rolling all kinds of balls, or embarrassingly stealing Easter eggs not laid by the hares from cemetery gravesites, such as some did at Calvary cemetery on a hash hared by Cock-A-Noodle and Hot Tub Slut and assisted by Undercovers on March 26th. And, the pack was way over-achievers on the April 23rd Earth Day hash, hared by Boneless and More Leggs, when 100’s of lbs of garbage was collected to clean up the environment. But, the trail that produced the most scavenging and “dumpster” diving (including a naming for that very act) was the Scavenger Hunt hash hared by 3&Out, Pumps til It Burns and Dick Lips on July 2nd.
From trash to culture, our next category is best cultural hashes. Gimp and Porkless hared on April 7th the historical automatic musical instruments hash which ended at Gimp’s parents’ house. Gimp and Hot Tub hared the annual Hot Tub hash on Nov 5th that took us past Wright Brother’s sites and Paul Lawrence Dunbar’s home. Porkless and More Leggs initiated the World Peace Thru Beer hash on Oct 22 by beginning at the Peace Museum and running the trail past several local peace sites. As mentioned before, several hashers showed up early to spruce up the Peace museum as part of the annual “make a difference” day activities.
Too much culture? Let’s go to what hashers like to do best: drink! Our next category recognizes the BNs. The most disappointing BN was the one stolen during the Spring Formal hash, hared by Dick Lips, Slap Ya Mama and More Leggs. The most prolific spontaneous beer nears were drunk by enterprising hashers running through UD on the March 18th Wearing o’ the Green hash hared by Porkless, Martha Screw-her and More Leggs. That hash was also nominated for best circle, perhaps because Flannagan’s was providing us with $4.00 pitchers which probably made YIR easier to listen to. The most scenic BN was the 9/30 moon trail set by Porkless and Sir Squirts a Lot where we drank at the overlook at the top of Woodlawn Cemetery. But, by far, the most surprising BN was the Double Pumped! Hash of Nov 29th. We were all amazed to walk into a Shell gas station convenience store and see flights of good craft beer awaiting us. Pumps also threw a fun party afterwards and provided a patch to those who attended both of her back to back harings.
Speaking of parties, Dayton loves theme hashes and loves to dress in costumes. There were about 12 costumed hashes last year. Favorites nominated were The Super Hero hash hared by Noodle, 3&Out and PVT Ass Guardian because of the originality of the costumes, including most authentic non-purchased costume: Porkless as Vision. We also liked the Day of the Dead hash hared by PHead and Catwoman because of the opportunity to mingle with the Muggles, and the Wearing o’ the Green hash hared by PL and ML nominated for best trail in a costume. So, if you are like me, you have a wardrobe and set of drawers just for hash attire. If not, shop your favorite Goodwill. We will be continuing costumed runs again this year. But, my personal plea: please, Boneless: no more tutus and tights like you wore at Mardi Gras. I can’t get that image out of my mind!
Best ending/on after: Runner Ups included Pump’s house after Double Pumped hash, CIS and Oral Cummunicator for their July 4th hash, Goes Down Dirty and Munchskins for the bonfire at their home after their July 16th 7 miles or so death march hash, the kilted hash of April 9th hared by Bimbo and BMW, the Celtic festival hash hared by Tiny Tool and Undercovers and the Mardi Gras hash Jan 24th hared by Slap Ya Mama and Skin to Win. Not only did Skin and Slap set a night trail that rocked, they fed us with great Mardi Gras sausage, red beans and rice and King Cake. The overall winner of best on after goes to the Spring Formal/PHead’s 1000th hash hared by Undercovers, Slap and More Leggs because of the Canoe Club venue, flowing kegs, lots of good food and PHead sitting on ice.
Best Moon: Moons are no longer like they used to be, which was 3 miles of fairly routine road running. Runners up this year was the Feb 8th Porkless and More Leggs Chinese New Year trail for its snow-enhanced shiggy climb, cemetery and woods; the May 6th Undercovers/G-Spot well-marked trail in Centerville for its shiggy and super tunnel, the July 19th Skin to Win and Dreams of Dick’s Beavercreek trail for its shiggy and creek crossing. The overall winner of best moon trail was the Sept 30th Belmont trail hared by Sir Squirts a Lot and Porkless who led the pack through a tunnel, creek bed, fences, fields and a muddy night climb. As one hasher put it, this was the “Best Sat Urban trail done on a night hash”.
“Shittiest” trail: Not to be confused with the “shiggiest” trail which will come next, the June 18th hash in Sycamore Park, Trotwood, hared by I’m Cuming, Tiny Tool and More Leggs was duly noted for the 4 miles of shoe-sucking horse shit the runners encountered. Ask G-Spot if she ever retrieved her lost shoe.
Shiggiest Sat trail: Runners up included the Aug 13th Hintermeister Park, West Carrollton 5 mile trail set by G-Spot, Little Lady Boner and Reach Around, and Bermuda’s and Goes Down Dirty’s May 22nd Nature Immersion trail in Old Town. The overall winner was the “Long Trail, Best Trail” Nash Hash Sat trail set by PHead, ¼ Barrel and VD. It was obvious that several days were spent scouting this one.
Thanks to all who voted and more importantly, thanks to all who helped make 2016 another delightful hashy year. Looking forward to memorable adventures again this year.
Happy Trails to all!
More Leggs

Minutes from December 2016 Mismanagement Meeting

Attendance: Undercovers, El Douche Bag, G-Spot, Dick Lips, BMW, Cock-a-Noodle, Bermuda Triangle, ¼ Barrel, PHead, Catwoman, Strap-On Santa, More Leggs

      1. Minutes from Aug 17th meeting were previously emailed and approved.
      2. Brief position reports:
        • Hare Raiser: No concerns. Porkless is recruiting hare signups and the pack is responding well. There is always a need for more walker participation. Next open date is January 11th, a moon trail. Cock-a-Noodle said that he could fill that date if no one else requests it.
        • Haberdashery: It was reported that there is inventory available, including mugs with handles that can be used as a trail hash mug. Sweatpants are on order. Catwoman will be ordering more DH3 patches and giving Bermuda Triangle some haberdasher funds.
        • RA/Sgt at Arms: Discussion was held regarding the trial use of hares selecting an RA and the RA selecting the Sgt. at Arms. All agree that with the increase of average numbers attending the hash, circle control is challenging. However, with the approach of winter, some speculate that circle control will be easier. It was decided that the hares will continue to select the RA but that when hash elections are held in the spring, we would nominate 2 hashers to become the RA-either a main and an understudy or 2 who share the responsibility by taking turns. It was also decided that a permanent Sgt. at Arms would be elected in the spring to ensure good tracking (as ¼ Barrel has done in the past) of hash crimes etc. It was also suggested that DH3 have a “beer bitch” (or bastard) who would ensure that no one in the circle is thirsty and who can assist in monitoring the circle for wayward conversations.
        • Hash Armorer: Strap-On Santa is working on sweatpants order and has good contacts for silk screening, printing, etc. He is available to assist and offer advice to hashers who may have requests for future DH3 items.
        • On-Sec: Undercovers reported some exciting statistics regarding how successful our year has been thus far. We’ve had about 700 more hashers attend hashes this year than 2015 (turnstile) , which includes 74 virgins. Our average attendance is almost 40 per hash. ALL hashers are acknowledged for their roles in keeping our hash strong.
        • Web and Social Media: Cock-a-Noodle was complimented on the 2017 calendars. There are a few more available for $10.00 He has agreed to create next year’s calendars and will solicit photos but can only use original-resolution pictures (pictures posted to Facebook are reduced in quality). He will continue to send out emails and update FB. Cock-a-Noodle mentioned that Goes Down Dirty has offered to place hash events on Google calendar as another option to receive DH3 hash announcements. Thank you, GDD!
        • Hash Cash: Bermuda Triangle reported that DH3 received a generous amount from the Nash Hash and now has $4,000+ in funds. A discussion followed on how to spend this money, with suggestions that funds could be used for additional “awards”, the red dress charity event, other contribution requests that come up, reimbursements for special DH3 hash events, and year in review. It was decided that hash cash should remain as it is: $6.00 (or $4.00 when hashers purchase their own beer at the on-after.)
      3. Old Business:
        • Electronic Sign-In: At the last mismanagement meeting it was brought up that some hashes have iPad or electronic sign-in sheets. A discussion followed on whether DH3 wanted to go that route. No one has offered to set this up for DH3, even though it was requested in the previous minutes. Expense of equipment was mentioned and Undercovers says that although it takes her some hours each hash to update statistics and balance working hash cash, she is comfortable with this and doesn’t want a change. Issue was dropped.
      4. New Business:
        • Status of Hash-It, Hashpitality and Trail Sweep Awards: All are aware that all 3 of these awards are MIA. After discussion, The Hash-It and Hashpitality were recommended to remain a part of circle even when the token item is missing. When the items are returned (or someone donates a new one), it is recommended that the awarded token be given to the next hare for safe return. It was decided that DH3 doesn’t want to award the FRB with the trail sweep but does want to monitor the trail for lost hashers or virgins. At chalk talk, the pack will be asked if anyone is willing to volunteer to be the trail sweep for the running trail. Job duties include being the last person on the “true” trail (waiting for folks who are checking, but not for folks who shortcut) and writing the actual start time and direction in chalk at the beginning of the run. The trail sweep will not be given “hare” credit but will be given a new “sweep” credit, with of course sweep drinking obligations and possible future awards. If walkers feel the need, they can also determine a walker trail sweep with the same duties and privileges. As always, please monitor the virgins and make them feel welcomed. They are our sustaining lifeblood.
        • 30th Anniversary: DH3 will turn 30 at the end of June. VD and Cock-a-Noodle have offered to hare this significant event. Stay tuned for the exciting details.
        • Year-in-Review: Hard to believe, but the year is coming to an end. Requests for trail, etc. nominations will be sent out in the upcoming weeks. Keep those spreadsheets of hash trails updated!! If you are interested in helping write up the presentation, or have ideas for awards, please see More Leggs. G-Spot said she would assist with the awards. Date of YIR to be determined.
        • 2017 elections: Announcement of the election results for the mismanagement positions that were not changed last year will be held at the Spring Formal, May 6th. PHead has volunteered to hare. Please consider nominating yourself or another hasher for the open positions. Details to follow.
        • Suggestion: It was recommended that hares include an approximate “chalk time” in their erections.
        • Next Meeting: Most likely, February. Brr!!! Hash warm! Sign up for harings-see Porkless. See you on Trail. Thanks for all you do for the hash.

More Leggs

CPR Instruction

Regarding CPR instruction. For 10 years I [Strap-On Santa] was a certified Red Cross instructor for First Aid, CPR/AED and Oxygen Administration for Community, Workplace and Professional Rescuer groups. I was on staff as a paid instructor. My instructor certifications expired in 2010. However, as a Red Cross disaster responder I am required to maintain currency in First Aid and CPR/AED skills, recertifying every two years.
In 2010 the recommended protocol for lay or bystander CPR changed from the traditionally taught chest compressions and rescue breathing to “Hand Only” or “Continuous Chest Compressions CPR”. Research has shown the new protocol to be almost twice as effective as the more traditional method most have learned in the past.
Below are the current guidelines and recommendations for emergency care. All of the necessary skills can be learned by watching the video recommendation listed in the document. For the most part formal training is not necessary. The Red Cross, American Heart Association and many community fire departments offer Fist Aid and CPR/AED training, usually with some cost.


Symptoms of a heart attack:

  • Undue fatigue, generally without physical exertion
  • Difficulty breathing or catching one breath
  • A feeling of tightness in the chest, or a feeling like an elephant is sitting on your chest
  • A feeling like the heart is skipping a beat
  • A sense of heartburn
  • Pain in the arm, or neck
  • Breaking out in a cold sweat or nausea

Men and women may have different symptoms of a heart attack, but this list should cover everyone.

  • If a person displays any of the symptoms of a heart attack it should be treated as an emergency. Their condition may deteriorate rapidly.
  • Someone should stay with the person at all times.
  • Call 911 even if the person says that they will be OK. This will bring EMS as early as possible. This is preferable to trying to transport the person yourself.
  • If you are in an area where an AED may be available have someone obtain it
  • EMS personnel will assess the person and possible check them with a portable EKG
  • EMS will advise if hospital emergency care is recommended.
  • The person can always refuse this advice.
  • If the person losses consciousness begin Hands Only CPR immediately.
  • If you encounter an unconscious person check for responsiveness by shaking and shouting or a sternal rub.
  • If the person is breathing they have a pulse 100% of the time
  • Instructions for Hands Only or Continuous Chest Compression CPR:
  • Call 911 or direct a person to call 911
  • Place the person on their back on a solid surface
  • Place on hand on their sternum in the center of their chest; place your other hand on top of the first hand
  • Place your shoulders directly over their sternum and lock your elbows
  • Press down on their chest 2” – 2.5” with your body weight at the rate 100 – 125 times per minute
  • Think of a disco song like the Bee-Gees “Stayin’ Alive” to time your compressions
  • Most people can maintain the rhythm only for a few minutes at a time
  • At the end of each compression ensure that your relax all pressure on the chest
  • Switch rescuers every 2 – 3 minutes
  • Maintain continuous compressions until EMS arrives or an AED becomes available.
  • Without an AED survivable chances decrease by about 10% for each minute
  • An AED will advise a delivering a shock only if shockable electrical activity is detected
  • If the person begins to breathe place the person on their side if still unconscious and continue to monitor them

Hands Only of Continuous Chest Compressions CPR has been the recommended protocol for bystander and lay responder response since 2010. This is due to the difficulty most poorly practiced responders have in actually maintaining an open airway and delivering effective rescue breaths.
For lay responder Hands Only CPR is twice as effective as trying to give rescue breaths. Every time you stop to give rescue breaths blood circulation stops decreasing the effectiveness of traditional CPR.
The below listed CPR videos give adequate instruction for performing Hands Only CPR:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcbgpiKyUbs (5:59)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzSq-88Ibak (2:19)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuJkRpJ7Fxg (1:08)
http://www.procpr.org/en/training_video/hands-only-cpr (3:24)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNHlC1aaCz8 (9:54)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTS5r1IlVao (6:53) Emphasis on AED Use
Heart Attack and Cardiac Arrest
http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/Conditions/More/MyHeartandStrokeNews/Heart-Attack- or-Sudden-Cardiac- Arrest-How-Are-They- Different_UCM_440804_Article.jsp#.V3pq7aLl83Q

Growlers for the Pub Crawl

One of the stops for the Pre-Lube of Nash Hash will be Gimp’s house in the Oregon District.  If there are any home brewers who want to share their handiwork with the hash, inform me at QuarterBarrel@outlook.com and bring a growler to Gimp’s house between 1730 to 1800 (5:30 to 6 PM) on 4 August 2016, just prior to the 1830 start of the Pub Crawl at Warped Wing Brewery.
1/4 Barrel

Subway Dragons 5K 2016

Subway Dragons 5K

Porkless and I [More Leggs] sign up for this every year.   Think we can get a group signed up?

The race that pays you is back for 2016! Join Heater, Gem and thousands of other runners at Fifth Third Field on Saturday, July 23 at 9am. Just for signing up participants receive stadium seat tickets to a Dragons game, a 5K shirt, a Dragons souvenir, two vouchers good for a sub or salad from Subway and access to the post-race party featuring tons of activities for adults and kids alike!
The race is $25 thru July 17, $30 the week of the race and only $15 for youth 17 and under. Sign up now atwww.daytondragons.com/subwaydragons5k.

The run/walk is a perfect activity for friends, family, coworkers…whoever! Back in 2016 is the ability to sign up as a team. We have great prizes for team sign-ups as well as individual sign-ups. The top four finishers’ times on each team will be counted. Group prizes include a luxury suite at a 2017 Dragons game, subway catering and more! Sign up your group today here.
Catch big savings with Subway restaurants with an all-star offer. Italian B.M.T. footlong sandwiches are only $6 for the month of July! Subway has really covered their bases with this affordable and delicious deal.
If you have any questions, feel free to contact Alex Wilker atalex.wilker@daytondragons.comor at 937-228-2287 x114.
Thank you!

Alex Wilker | Marketing Manager
Dayton Dragons Professional Baseball Team
Fifth Third Field | 220 N. Patterson Blvd. | Dayton, OH 45402
Office: 937-228-2287 ext. 114  | Fax: (937) 228-2284 | Web: daytondragons.com